Homeschooling was a foreign language to me before I had children. I didn’t understand it, didn’t have any desire to be a part of it, and didn’t even want to entertain the idea. However, after we had our first child my husband and I began to toy with the idea and eventually began to investigate what the crazy world of homeschooling really was all about. The more we looked into it and the more we prayed about what to do for our first child’s education, homeschooling was the answer for us.
As newbies, we had no idea what to do or what to expect! We jumped in full-force and began our hands-on, trial-and-error education (my husband and my education, not the kids).
Fast forward to today…
We are entering our seventh year of homeschooling and I have learned so much over the course of our journey. It has been a journey of ups and downs, victories and defeats, growth and setbacks. If I had it to do all over again I would gladly agree to homeschool, BUT I would go about it with a different mindset and focus.
Maybe you are a homeschool mom or are thinking about becoming a homeschool mom, I want to share some of my failures with you in hopes of encouraging you in your journey (hopefully you won’t make the same ones).
I am going to share with you three ways I failed (in my eyes) in the past during our homeschool journey.
1. I put all the focus on academics and how smart my child(ren) were instead of forming habits and building character.
I allowed my understanding and experience of school and academia to dictate the process we would take as a family. I was so worried and concerned that my kids would not be the smartest or the best, that I put unrealistic expectations on them. Honestly, it was selfish on my part. Since I was their teacher I felt pressure for them to perform well so that I looked good, not only was this wrong of me, it was sinful.
I had to learn to let go of my selfish desires and do my best and encourage my kids to do their best and let it be. I have learned to put into practice 1 Corinthians 10:31 which says, “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” In other words, if we are all trying our best and going about our day striving to bring glory to God in EVERYTHING (including school work) we are doing all we need to do regardless of what the unrealistic academic expectations may be.
This was so freeing when I completely embraced this truth. It brings freedom and peace to everyone when we keep our focus set on this mindset. The freedom to stop worrying about how well my children understand a subject and know that I can focus my efforts to help them build strong, godly character and form consistent habits, far out weighs the pressure of making sure they are straight A students.
2. I taught my children that school is all about books and studies and must been done quickly.
My understanding of homeschooling looked like what I experienced in a classroom. I took a square classroom and tried to fit it inside my home. Guess what happened? It didn’t fit!!
The home is not a physical schoolroom where your kids sit at a desk all day or where you will receive classroom like order. The homeschool “room” looks SO much different. Your day is always in flux. Most likely you have multiple children of different ages, with different needs. You have clothes that need to be washed, rooms that need to be cleaned, bills to be paid, fights that need a referee, spills that need cleaning, food that needs to be cooked…you get the picture. It’s always different everyday.
The true picture of homeschooling is learning as you go, hands-on teaching and training. While you are trying to bring order to your home, you are teaching and building character in each and every moment. I was destroying my teachable moments because I was so focused on getting our school work/list checked off and in a hurry. This only leads to more chaos, fighting, anger, and eventually you find that everything and everyone is out of control.
What I have learned is to give time limits and make your expectations understood so everyone is on the same page, then embrace the time you have with your kids to teach them, both in curriculum and life moments. Don’t let time be a hinderance or a barrier to reach your child’s heart.
3. I lost sight of who should be the center of all things related to our schooling.
The biggest failure I allowed myself to experience was that I lost my focus on who is the center of our schooling venture. God is the center of all that I do in life, so why shouldn’t I depend on Him to help my husband and I accomplish the task of training up and teaching godly children?! I can tell you the problem…my selfishness pushed Him out of being the center.
I don’t know why I have to be so arrogant and tell the God who created the world and sustains all things that I don’t need His help homeschooling my children. It’s absurd and crazy!! I most definitely need His help, His strength, His wisdom, His direction,His knowledge, and His peace. I set the example for my children, so why wouldn’t I want to show them that I place God first and center my every move around Him. I want to show them that I even depend on God for my very next breath.
I have learned that I can’t be successful or accomplish anything without Him, and that’s no different with our homeschool journey. I’m talking about even asking Him for wisdom and direction on things like; what curriculum to use, what our schedule needs to look like, and all the little details involved in our homeschool day.
I’ve learned my day needs to start by training my mind to think about lifting up my children to Him and confessing that I need His help to be a good steward of the blessings He’s let me borrow in this life. I want to be found as a good and faithful steward, not one that squandered my time.
I have not arrived at perfection and I continue to grow and learn each and every day. I hope my mistakes and my failures have encouraged you in your journey.
What about you, have you learned these things in your family’s homeschool journey? Or maybe you’ve learned other things. I would love to hear what you have learned, leave a comment or send me an email.
