3 Things To Do When Your Family Doesn’t Support Your Homeschool Plans

We are in our seventh year of homeschooling this year, and I am here to tell you God is good! Before having our first child, neither my husband nor I were on board with homeschooling. We had so many misconceptions about what homeschooling truly meant and we felt the “going to school” option was the way to success. My extended family felt this way, too.

Even after our first child was born, our mind on the subject did not change until our daughter was about two years old. Around this time we had multiple close friends that were older (and wiser) that homeschooled their children. They very gently began to open our eyes to what homeschooling really looked like; the beauty, the hardships, the flexibility, and the blessing.  God began to mold and shape our hearts until both, my husband and I, agreed homeschooling was the route we should take.

This, however, was not taken well by our extended families. So much so, that they were offering to pay for our daughter to attend a private school in our area. This was a hard time in our life because we really love and respect our parents and disappointing them was not something we wanted to do, but we felt we needed to stand on our convictions and stay the course.

I was determined to show our extended family that I was capable of homeschooling and that our daughter would excel at home. So, what did I do? I pushed her and pushed her, academically. I made the focus of our days all about what she knew and how she compared to others her age. I pushed so much and so hard that it zapped the fun out of it for everyone, frustrating me and our daughter. She didn’t like school, she didn’t want to try anymore, there was lots of whining, crying, and arguing.

When our daughter reached second grade, we gave in and sent her to a university model school where she went to school two days a week for instruction, in a classroom setting. We thought she would excel there, but she didn’t. She cried everyday when I dropped her off. She would hide in the bathroom and I would have to beg her to come out. It was during this year that God began to show me that my mindset was wrong, it was downright prideful.

I had to change! It wasn’t my daughter who needed to change, it was me. I had to ask God to forgive me of my pride, of my striving after worldly achievement. I also realized I was trying to homeschool my children in my own strength. I learned that no mama, no matter how amazing, cannot homeschool her children in her own strength. I learned that it is only when I confess my dependence on the Lord, that I receive freedom from worldly expectations, and demands.

We brought her home after that school year was over and decided to refocus. We began to homeschool full time again, but this time the high expectations and extreme pressure was not weighing us down.

Fast forward to today, we have three out of our four children “in school” and I have learned so much about myself and about homeschooling.

I share with people a lot, if I could advise my younger me, I would tell myself these four things:

1. Don’t allow the world’s idea of success to cloud what God is calling you to do. Ask God for His wisdom as you set goals for your children and their schooling.

2. Start the day in Scripture and prayer, by yourself and together with your family. Make time with God the top priority and make sure it doesn’t get pushed to the side because academic work needs to be done.

3. Don’t set academic work in such high priority that you lose sight of the importance of character building.

4. Learning does not always need to happen with a book, worksheet, or in a lesson. Go out and experience God’s creation together, learn as you go and find other families to join with you.

When I came to grips with my own heart issues, it was then that I was able to begin helping my family, who was still unsure about our homeschool endeavors, see that my children will not receive the short end of the stick just because they are homeschooled. In fact, I did three things that helped (most of them) get on board with our “crazy journey”.

1. I prayed for them to see that homeschooling was not going to be the undoing of my children.
2. I got them involved in our daily routine when it was possible. I let them help teach and be a part of what we were doing. I also, tried to talk to them about the benefits of a flexible schedule as the opportunities arose.
3. I shared my long range goals and the vision my husband and I have to continue homeschooling our kids and the purpose behind our convictions. This helped them see that we are not walking through this homeschool thing blindly, but that we actually have purpose in our journey.

Maybe you are in the same boat my husband and I were in. Maybe you feel like this pressure from your family (or maybe even your spouse) is weighing you down. Maybe you are trying to prove something to others, like I was trying to do. Or maybe, you are just tired of the negative comments that come your way on a regular basis.

Dear homeschool mom, please let it all go! Embrace the freedom to live out your convictions. Pray, pray, and pray some more! God’s word says,

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5

NASB

All of our situations are different and there is not one answer to all problems so ask God to fill in the blank where you are lacking wisdom on how to deal with your family members that may not understand where you are coming from. He will provide the answer, even if it comes in a way we don’t quite understand.

I want to encourage you to keep going, keep working at it, keep reaching for your goals as you live out the convictions God as laid on your heart in regards to homeschooling your children.

You can do it! I believe in you! And it is worth it!